


that's how you and i will be

by prancelance



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship, i cried while proof reading this so that should tell you just about enough, spoilers through episode 15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24659908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prancelance/pseuds/prancelance
Summary: “Can you sing the song to me? Please?”Shebrie smiled, bringing a hand up to run through Argo’s hair. “Of course, dear.” And she sang out into the darkness of the room, her voice ringing out and meshing with the sound of the water.-there's a song from Argo's childhood that was always a source of comfort when everything else was too much. he sings it twice, to the two people in this world he loves the most
Relationships: Argo Keene & Shebrie Keene, Argo Keene/Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt
Comments: 13
Kudos: 58





	that's how you and i will be

**Author's Note:**

> I know that the parallels between shebrie's death and fitzroy being cursed have been played with before but I've had this song in my head for several weeks and i think it fits perfectly in this situation soooo 
> 
> the title from 'lullaby (goodnight, my angel)' by billy joel. 
> 
> also i just had to get this out before tomorrows (today's? since im posting this at 3 am) episode... cutting it pretty damn close.

The sea was rolling that night, as restless and full of energy as a child, listing the boat back and forth, sending salty spray across the deck as the waves collided with the ship. When one spends so long at sea, one gets used to weather like this. Where the people who only traverse the seas casually would be praying for their lives and mortal souls, those whose whole lives are the sea know that she’s just letting off a bit of steam, that this is just some gentle ribbing and not the real thing.

At least, most of them know that. It’s hard to put that fear aside when you’re just a child and you’re not yet acquainted with all of nature’s more fearful phenomena. Argo was sniffling under the covers when Shebrie walked in, and his eyes were so fearful when they looked up at her as she pulled the covers back, all puffy and wet. She sat down next to him, and his arms flew around her waist instantly, his face pressing into her chest like he was trying to hide away from the world. Shebrie wrapped one arm around his shoulders, using her other hand to wipe tears off of his cheeks. They were still soft and chubby, and she wondered how much longer she had with him like this, where he was just her little boy and she was just his mommy, and the most they had to worry about was a few rough waves. 

For a few moments, she stroked his back, shushing his tears away, holding him close, but then she placed both hands on his shoulders, bringing her face level with his. 

“Hush now, little Argonaut. You needn’t be worried about some nasty waves. Our boat is sturdy and has seen storms much worse than this one. Like the storm the night you were born! We almost capsized that night, and you didn’t so much as cry then.” She stroked his face gently, kissing his temple. “And you would be fine anyway, with your strong lungs.”

Argo sniffled again, rubbing at one of his eyes with the heel of his palm. “But you wouldn’t. You can’t breathe water like I can.”

Shebrie laughed a bit at that, rustling her son’s hair. “I think you’re selling me a bit short there, lad. I can swim pretty darn well if I do say so myself.” She hugged him to her again, wrapping her arms around him tightly and reveling in the way he was still so small, even though he kept getting bigger every day. “And you know what I think?”

“What?” Argo’s voice peeped out, a little muffled.

“I think that the sea wouldn’t do that to me. She saw me, this raggamuffin girl out on the waves, and decided that I was worthy enough to have my baby be blessed with her power. If she loved me enough to do that, I don’t think that she would take me away from you, now would she?” 

Shebrie could feel Argo nodding, so she unwrapped him from her grasp and stood up, folding the covers back so that she could climb into his bed with him. He scooched over to make room from her, and she lay down on her side so that she was facing him, head propped up on her hand. 

“Maybe she’s not trying to be mean. Maybe this is her way of trying to rock you to sleep.” She tapped Argo on the nose, and he giggled, snuggling closer into her side.

“Mama?” He said a few minutes later as the waves continued to rock the ship.

“Yes, my love?”

“Can you sing the song to me? Please?”

Shebrie smiled, bringing a hand up to run through Argo’s hair. “Of course, dear.” And she sang out into the darkness of the room, her voice ringing out and meshing with the sound of the water.

_ “Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes,  _

_ And save these questions for another day.”  _

She can feel the remaining tension in her son’s shoulders melt away as she sings, and it brings her so much comfort. Even though she knows that the weather outside poses no real threat to her baby, but it still troubles her whenever he’s hurting, no matter how small that pain may be.

_ “I think I know what you've been asking me,  _

_ I think you know what I've been trying to say.” _

She can tell that his tears have made him tired because all the energy that surged through him like rapids all-day is gone, and he’s drifting closer and closer to sleep. 

_ “I promised I would never leave you _

_ Then you should always know _

_ Wherever you may go, no matter where you are _

_ I never will be far away.” _

_ \--- _

The sea was calm that night. Solemn, waves barely rocking the ship at all, mostly just lapping at the sides. It was like she knew that it was time to be gentle, that it was  _ time _ . Argo knew it was time, too.

That day was one of the good ones. Shebrie wasn’t in nearly as much pain as the previous week, so she was much more mobile. They were able to dock and walk around the port town, looking at all the expensive silks and pastries that the shops showed off with enthusiasm. For a minute, as they were walking around, it was easy to forget it all. With his arm looped with hers, Argo could act like she wasn’t sick, like she wasn’t dying. But then she would stumble or struggle to catch her breath, and all of it would come crashing back down on him.

As he looked at her, he could tell that it was her time. She was so pale. He didn’t know it was possible for someone so vibrant and fierce to be so  _ pale _ . And she was tired. He knew from the way her shoulders sagged and from the lines under her eyes; she was so, so tired, but not weak. Never weak. She would go into this fighting.

“Hey, Ma,” he said, walking into her cabin. The other members of the crew had all come in to say their goodbyes, giving him some time to get all of his tears out before he came in to sit with her through it all. Deep down, he knew that the next time he walked out of that room, she would be gone. He didn’t want any tears to squander what time he had left.

“Argonaut,” and she smiled, and it was so easy to just pretend that she wasn’t dying from the way the smile lit up her face. “Come sit with me, my love.”

He sat next to her, grasping her hand as she settled back into the pillows. 

_ (She thought, looking up at him, that she’d seen his eyes like that before, all fearful, puffy, and wet. She wanted more than anything to be able to calm him down like she was able to then, to stop his pain.)  _

“Oh, little Argonaut,” she said, cupping a hand around his face. “Don’t be scared of the rocking of the boat. Do not be fearful of the waves that life may send your way. Just do your best to lean into them.”

“Ma,” he said, leaning his face into her palm. He began to say something else but thought better of it. Otherwise, he’d start to cry again. Instead, he just stood, pulling back the edge of her covers, crawling into her bed with her, hugging her close. 

It surprised him how small she was, how small she had become. She was always a robust woman, taking up space both physically and with her energy. But she was so small now, fitting into him like a child. Like he used to fit into her. He wondered what was going on insider her head right now.

_ (She was thinking that it had been so long since it was like this. Since he was just her little boy and she was just his mommy. The waves they had to worry about now were a lot rougher, but that’s all they were. Just waves. Just the boat rocking.) _

It was a few minutes later before he realized that he recognized the pattern. Without noticing, he had been stroking her back, running his fingers through her hair. He had just kissed her temple. He had been on the receiving end of this so many times, he knew what came next. At first, he didn’t want to do it, thinking he needed to stay strong for her. But he realized that what could be more strong than holding her and giving her comfort right now?

So he started singing.

_ “Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep, _

_ And still so many things I want to say.” _

Shebrie chuckled a little as he began to sing. A soft smile played at her lips, and it looked like she wanted to sing with him, but as Argo looked at her, he thought she realized that this time, she was the one that needed to be comforted, to let her pain be washed away.

_ “Remember all the songs you sang for me, _

_ When we went sailing on an emerald bay.” _

_ (She did. She remembered every moment, every hug, every tantrum, every single time she sang to him. She clung to those memories like she was clinging onto him.) _

_ “And like a boat out on the ocean, _

_ I'm rocking you to sleep.” _

Despite himself, Argo’s voice cracked at that line. She squeezed his hand, and it was not weak, Shebrie Keene was never weak. It was soft.

_ “The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart, _

_ You'll always be a part of me.” _

She opened her mouth, and for a second, Argo thought she was going to continue the next verse. And that might have been what she was trying to do. But she didn’t. She let out her last breath like she was letting out a note. 

He was wrong. She didn’t go into it fighting.

She fell into it, like water. Singing.

\---

The sea is rough tonight, and although Argo can’t see it, he feels the turmoil inside of himself as he sits next to Fitzroy’s unconscious body. They’re inside the medical tent, and Fitzroy has just fallen back into an inanimate state. Argp was scared at first, thinking he was being taken over by the curse yet again, but his sleep is much calmer now, no suffering in his expression, only peace.

So why are Argo’s insides churning? Why does he feel like his world is crumbling down around him all over again?

He’s been pacing back and forth for several minutes now, getting restless waiting for Fitzroy to come to, or waiting for the Firbolg, or waiting for Althea to come back, or-- to be honest, he’s beginning to lose track of everything he has been waiting for. 

He feels the overwhelming urge to climb onto the cot with Fitzroy, and since whatever impulse control he had left is more or less depleted, he does it with little hesitation. Argo slips an arm behind his head as a surrogate for a pillow, laying on his side so that he can only look at Fitzroy.

It feels odd, curling up this close to Fitzroy. Not because of who it is; Argo has pictured doing this, being like this with him for a lot longer than he would like to admit. No, it’s because he feels almost too big. It feels like he should be so much smaller, like his mom was at the end.

He thinks about her again, how she went away singing, how he never got to hear her last verse.

But no, this isn’t the same. Fitzroy is here, maybe not  _ thriving _ per se, but doing a lot better than he was. And not on the cusp of death.

No, Fitzroy is robust. Taking up space. Filling everywhere he goes with his ringing voice and bright energy. He has such a wonderful future ahead of him, a remarkable destiny that Argo can’t fully comprehend yet but knows will leave him in awe.

And Argo is in love with him.

It’s hard for him to admit that to himself, especially in this of all situations, but he knows. He knew the second Fitzroy’s body hit the ground because it was that exact second that he realized he would do just about anything to keep him from harm, anything to alleviate his pain, no matter how small. And now that the situation is a little less hectic, now that he’s curled up with Fitzroy by his side, he has time to process. 

He finds himself stroking his face. And running his hands through his hair. He kisses him on the temple and makes the decision right there that he would live and die for this man. That he’ll lean into the waves.

So he starts singing.

_ “Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream, _

_ And dream how wonderful your life will be.” _

He sings this for Fitzroy, for the remarkable life he’ll lead going forward, whether it’s with him or not. For what he’ll become once he realizes that he can use his failure to help him grow, to not give up on himself.

But as he sings, he also realizes that this is his mother’s last verse, what she was saying to him as she moved on, and so he sings it for her too. And maybe for the first time since she passed, he feels like she isn’t truly gone, like she’s right there with him with her hand on his shoulder. He wonders if she would have been proud of him for how he was there for Fitzroy today. He wonders if she would’ve liked him.

_ (She is. And she does. She sees how happy he makes her boy, the furtive glances, the brushing fingertips, the flirting disguised as banter. She sees it all. And she’s so happy.) _

_ “Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby, _

_ Then in your heart there will always be a part of me” _

Fitzroy stirs slightly, turning more towards Argo and curling into his chest. 

He can feel her. And he can feel her smiling. So he smiles too, leaning into the waves.

_ “Someday we'll all be gone, _

_ But lullabies go on and on. _

_ They never die. _

_ That's how you and I will be.” _

**Author's Note:**

> hello i made myself crying writing this AND proof reading it so. there you go.
> 
> this is also inspired by a scene in Zoe's Extraordinary Playlist, which is a fabulous show that i absolutely recommend. if you want to hear the cover from that scene, you can find it [here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDhWvIuf1vs) I of course love billy joel's version but I think this version really nails the parent-child dynamic that i tried to set up here.


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